The Outta This Universe Bonkers Volturi Show
by Dopplelicious
Summary: Imagine a life full of ups, downs and pure strangeness...this IS the actual existence of the most feared and elite coven of vampires ever to walk the world...the Volturi! Dum dum dummmmmmmmm!
1. Episode 1: Laurent's Ghost!

The outta this universe bonkers Volturi show!

The afternoon Sun floods through the satin blood red curtains in individual streamlined rays, each one intense, almost like the pale faced black haired cloaked figure sititng on the oak floor, singing to himself.

Aro: Dum dum dum dummmmmmmmmmm, super massive black hole!. (laughs manically yet childlike) go thunder!

Jane: (Walks into the room and gazes at Aro in confusion.) What the Marcus's gstring are you singing about?!

Aro: Just remembering the time where the Cullen's played baseball and the sadistic nomads showed up to eat little Bella, Jane my dear. (sighs whistfully.) Those WERE the days!

Jane: (Widenens her crimsons eyes in dibelief.) Um Aro, you wern't there. You just watch the "Twilight" movie. The song never played in real life. (Takes in Aro's sad puppy dog eyes and starts to panick. She has upset the king of the cats!) I'm very, very sorry, please don't punish me! I was only joking, that DID happen. You were there! Just like when you really did steal Harry Potter's wand.

Aro: (Begins to grin madly, like the chesire cats pedo cousin.) It was his flesh wand! Not his................

Jane: (Puts hands over ears and shivers in disgust.) Yeah, yeah, I know. I guess I'll give you some alone time. (walks out of the room, bolting the door behind her. She shakes her hands in even more disgust.) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Alec: (Hugs his sister spontaneosuly.) Woo, I love ya sis in a non incestial relationship! (Notices Jane's horrified expression.) Jane?

Jane: Oh Alec, Aro has gone, (takes deep breath,) completly utterly off his nut!

Alec: Oh my Marcus's gstring, Aro has lost one of his nuts?

Felix: (Jumps from mid air.) Boo yeah! Wait! Seriously Alec, did you check?

Alec: (Slaps one of his hands to his forehead.) No, Jane told me.

Felix: Little Janie is having an affair with Aro? Sulpicia will rip your face off, not to mention...........

Jane: (Scowls menacingly.) I'd shut up if I were you. I meant Aro has gone loopy loo, crazy, not that he has lost his balls..........

Laurent: (Zombified as he is back from the dead!) Speaking of balls, (picks up baseball, stroking it tenderly,) I beleive this is yours. (Hands it to Alec.)

Alec: Um, thanks?

Felix: Are you the new member of the guard? (Puffs out chest to try and look macho.)

Laurent: No, I am dead. But I'm here to bitch slap snow barbie for bitch slapping my girl and burning her cause she didn't find him as sexy as me! (Shakes hips and sings macareena.)

Caius: (Storms down the corridor shaking his hair.) Damm imbosilic wife who threw flour in my hair just cause I asked that tasty human girl to show me her moves!

Felix: (Laughs.) Hahahhahahah, wait I can't notice the flour!

Laurent: (Punches Caius in the face.) No one takes on Irina babes and gets away with it.

Caius: (Holds jaw.) Who in Marcus's gstring are you? Why did you hit me?! (Removes lighter from pocket. Singing immortal children pop up from the floor and shout halleluah. Caius snarls at them and they vanish.)I will burn you Lil Wayne lookalike!

Laurent: Good luck, I'm a ghosty zombie, raghhhhhhh! (pulls a scary face.) Yeah, let it rock! (Vanishes in thin air.)

Jane: (Rolls her eyes.) Why is this ridiculous place so randomly dumb?!

Aro: (Screams like a little girl from the room.) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's a spider. Kill it Jane, KILL IT!

Felix, Caius and Alec rush away leaving Jane to stand outside the door on her own.

Jane: (A slight vein pops up on her pale forehead.) Comming Aro.

Aro: Teeheee, Jane you are a devil!

Afetr the break, find out what happens when Renata's stupidity costs her the man of her human dreams..........................

Heidi is staring transfixed at the wire rimmed mirror, placing in her blue contacts which make her normally red eyes look violet.

Heidi:(sings to herself,) I'm so pretty, so pretty, so witty and............

Renata: Vain! (grimaces behing Heidi.) You are such a slut you know that!

Heidi: (looks hurt.) Why Renata, why be such a meany. (Eyes glass over,) I thought we were friends?

Renata: We are silly billy, it's just that Marcus paid me in lapdances to say that to you! (hugs Heidi.)

Heidi: Wait? Why would HE be the jerk?! I get him old Italiana spinsters!

Renata: Well, he says that being a slut is good!

Heidi: (furrows her brow in thought.) That does not sound like Marcus! Are you sure it wern't Aro?

Renata: Oh yeah! (giggles,) I get them two mixed up, Aro is the white haired guy with the pointed chin right?

Heidi: (opens mouth in shock.) No. That's Caius! (Shakes her head,) gosh Renata you are such a klutz!

Renata: He said my nickname was donut. (Folds her arms defencivly.) I used to love donuts as a human. (Eyes glass over.) I could have married Homer Simpson. We were the goddamm perfect match!

Heidi: Calm down now. Homer is fictional.

Renata: No effing way! Next thing you'll be telling me is Edward Cullen is fictional. That I am!

Heidi: We are not fake! We exist! (Glances at large ornamental clock,) now I gotta get the food. See you in the feeding room!

A few hours later...................

Marcus: I'm hungry!

Aro: I'm hungry!

Caius: Shut up right now or I'll.............................

Heidi: (Skips into room with humans.) Food time!

All tourists are then attacked by the Volturi. Renata pounces on the nearest human, however stops mid feed......

Renata: (Gasps,) It's the human equivalent of Homer Simpson!

Guy: (in Homer's voice,) Get off me you pshycho!

Renata: Oh my Marcus's gstring, I'm sorry, please forgive me! (Hugs the bleeding man,) we can still get married, and live together forever.....................

Guy: Let me die now you parasite!

Renata: Nooooooooooooooo! (Runs from the room screaming.)

The three leaders glance at each other from across the room.

Aro: Dibs on the lard ass! (Jumps on the guy.)

Caius: Why is she even part of our official cloak club?! She should get burnt due to her madness! (Removes lighter from pocket. Singing immortal children pop up from the floor and shout halleluah. Caius snarls at them and they vanish.)

Aro: (Mouth is full from blood, which leaks onto his chin,) She protects me from the foul beast. (Points at Marcus.) The FOUL beast!

Marcus: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Heidi: I may have sparked a weird reaction from her. She did say that Caius called me a slut!

Caius: And is that a bad thing?! (Shrugs shoulders,) at least you aint a fridge like Edward Cullen!

In Forks, Edward is sitting on the couch beside Bella.

Bella: Edward whats wrong?

Edward: (Eyes wide,) I have a terifying feeling that Caius thinks I'm fridgid!

Bella: Don't worry, your not anymore!

Edward: Anymore?! I was?

Bella: (Mumbles guiltily.) Well, when I was human I didn't exactly get you excited and I needed a real man, so I kinda saw Jasper....................

Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Back in Volterra..................

Heidi: Good point! I really don't want Bella to cheat on me with Jasper!

As the moon rises over fair Volterra, us humans can't help but wonder why the seemingly dangerous vampire leaders are actually tool bags to the highest degree!

Tune in next time for more exciting shenanigans in the Volturi coven!


	2. Episode 2: Caius and Buffy

The loud curisng comming from the recpetion made Volterra shake............................

Caius: What do you mean the cabel is out! (Shakes his hand in Giana's face) I'll smoosh the TV man when I next see him!

Giana: (shakes in fear) You haven't paid the TV bill for at least a year, so they took it away. You owe them about 900000 euros.

Caius: (swears) Aro, Aro!!!!!!!!!!  
Aro: (pops out from the lift) Yeah, bunnykins?

Caius: You didn't pay the TV fee, now I can't watch Buffy!

Aro: Well, I've been busy winding up Alec.

Caius: FOR A YEAR!

Aro: (grins) That's right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alec: (rubs is head) Master, why did you try and rip my head off?

Aro: (hugs Alec) I wouldn't DO that! (smirks) I will rip off your arms!

Alec: No!

Caius: ARO! Stop tormenting that child! Now, how to not miss watching the best show EVER!

Alec: You like Buffy? She kill's vampires!

Caius: (scowls) Yes, but she's fictional and so damm hot.........

Anthedora: (interrupts) Ahah! A confession! you can't tap this (points at her but) tonight!

Caius: Screw you then! Ho!

Aro: (crying) No potty mouth here!

Caius: I'll stop cursing when you pay the TV bill.

Aro: FINE! (stomps away) Oh my Marcus's gstring, I need to find some money fast! Oh I know, I hide it down Sully's top.....................(hums the happy song)

Caius: Now, to find a crazy teenager wwatching the show! (runs away)

Anthedora: (looks at Alec) I'm gonna so slay him tonight!

Alec: That's nice............

Anthedora: Shameful child! You wish my hubby to die! (Eyes glass over) Luckily I'm not killing him, i'm just gonna be so fierce and rough that he'll love me forver! Wooo! (runs upstairs)

Alec: (looks at Gianna) So, how's your morning been?

Giana: (still shaking)

After the break..................Caius creeps out a hormonal teenage girl, Aro can't find Sulpicia and Giana still can't speak! Oh dear.............

Aro: SULLY! Aw damm, where in the name of Marcus's gstring are you!

Jane: (comes around the corner and jumps wehn she she's Aro) What are you doing in my room?

Aro: (sulkily) Thought Sulpicia would be here. (eagerly) Have you seen her!

Jane: Let go of my collar!

Aro: (lets go of her collar) Sorry, I get intense!

Jane: Sulpicia is at Starbucks

Aro: Holy Marcus's gstring! It's sunny, she'll get spotted! She hates cofee!

Jane: It's cloudy today, and she goes to scope out human men to eat.

Aro: (relaxes) Phew.....I must go to Starbucks! (runs to Starbucks)

Meanwhile, in a small house in Rome.............

Jenn: Wow, can't wait to see Spike! Ohhhhh SPIKE!

Caius: Greetings human, I wish to watch Buffy with you! (jumps through window)

Jenn: (scared) Well, um, well.......

Caius: (sits on couch) I can't believe Buffy dumped Angel!

Jenn: Spike's better! And you may as well stay, my parents are out, just us two, you called me a human, are you not?

Caius: Oh it's on! Shut up now! (says in his mind: the girl knows, must have a snack after the show!)

Jenn: You are so rude, I like it. (scooches along the couch)

Caius: Shhhhhsssssssss, it's ANGEL!

In Starbucks.........

Sulpica: Hey stud, fancy filling up my cofee and going for a walk?

Random dude: DEFO! (runs up to counter)

Aro: Sully! I need money!

Sulpicia: (groans) Why?

Aro: Need to pay TV vill so Caius can watch Buffy!

Sulpicia: Well, for Caius. (Hands Aro money) Now can you leave, I'm going to eat that human over there. See you later.

Aro: Wooo! Caius can't swear no more! (runs out of Starbucks)

After Buffy..............

Jenn: Wow! That was good! Fancy some lunch? I can make noodles!

Caius: (evil smirk) Sure, why don't you just sit over here (points at lap)

Jenn: Wow! A LAP! (sits on it) Oh my god! You have red eyes! Vampire!

Caius: It's actually oh my Marcus's gstring. (looks shocked) How do you know I'm a vampire?

Jenn: (shrugs) I don't care, you can be my Spiky!

Caius: I HATE SPIKE! (starts to bite Jenn's neck)

Reception...

Alec: So, Giana, are you going home tonight?

Giana: (still shaking)

Aro: Guys! I have money! (dances around)

Caius: And I have seen Buffy! And had a snack!

Aro: (touches Caius's hand) Damn, you killed a fangirl! So mean!

Caius: She liked Spike, so she had to die (shrugs)

Anthedora: (stands in doorframe) Hello, I'm a slayer, and I want to drive my stake through your heart! (Get's out liquorice) I'm so sorry, I couldn't find a stake!

(Aro, Alec, Caius and Giana laugh)

Anthedora: Fine then (pouts and walks away) no slayer time for you!

Caius: (sinks to knees) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	3. Episode 3: Twisted Unbirthday Sex

Back in Volterra after months of seasonal and hormonal changes, the fat lady sings...

In a dark room filled with candles, Jane stabs a thin needle into the arm of a wailing, squirming human.

Jane: (smirks) sing, piggy, sing!

Fat lady: (cries out in pain) you freaky demented child of piss!

Jane: (shrugs and snaps the woman's neck) meh. I don't need your insults. (She rises from her kneeling position and fetches a lighter to set the still mass on fire, watching the flames with interest.) Pretty, bubbling flesh...

From the doorway, Aro stifles a girly shriek. Alec nudges him then shakes his own head in dismay at his sister.

Alec: master?

Aro: she's bloody lost it! Sure, she's a vampire bitch from piss, but since when do we actually get sexual thrills from stabbing overweight people with sharp things? Madness!

Jane: (overhears the boys and snaps) leave me alone you voy eurs!

Aro: eeeps! (He runs off down the corridor in fright.)

Alec: (mumbles) but sister...you need...help! (He suddenly collapses to the floor in pain as Jane used her gift on him.)

Jane: (makes her way to stand threateningly over her brother and whispers seriously) I only need help in finding a new victim, brother...

Aro appears outside Caius's room, knocking like mad. When he gets no answer, he presses his ear to the door in interest.

Athenodora: (exclaims) in the name of the moon I punish you, hehe!

Aro: (to himself) oh dear lord, she's got the WOLVES! (Bursting into the room, Aro lunges at Athenodora and tears her head off) leave my Snow Barbie alone, vile harpy!

Caius: What the hell?

Aro: (grins madly) I saved you! I luffles you!

Athenodora: (wails) he asked me to...dress up...as...as...

Aro: (looks back at Athendora and gasps as he sees her dressed up in a tight white top, frilly blue skirt and pink thigh high boots with her hair in bunches. He facepalms and jumps off her to point at Caius) you perve!

Caius: (shifty eyes) it will take us an hour to get my special Sailor to tongue her head back on. Thanks, cockblocker.

Aro: (raises a brow and backs away from Caius' furious glare) how come you dig Sailor Moon but you hate the Children of the Moon?

Athenodora: (mutters weakly) I have a vag.

Aro: (keeps backing away) of course, of course. I should go. Solve my problem on my own. Bye! (He runs away again, trying not to cry like a girl.) How come everyone in Volterra has odd fetishes at the moment? (He passes by a bulky figure that is caressing the grey stone wall and screams) Felix, not you too?

Felix: argh! (His arms drop to his side and he whirls around to salute Aro) hello Master, need any help?

Aro: no! I don't need any depraved help from a human bull like yourself!

After running for hours and bumping into every member of the Volturi doing something odd, Aro sits in the Volterra fountain, basking in the midnight moon. He flicks the water petulantly. The water flicks back at him, causing his hair to dampen.

Aro: (growls) bitch! It took me an hour to straighten and gloss this morning.

Voice: sorry...

Aro: (exclaims) fhfhfjfjfjjff! Talking water?

The head of a pale woman with bright green eyes and flowing golden hair pops up in the water. An ebony tail rises out of the water and fans in the air.

The mermaid: water can't talk, (mutters under her breath) dumbass.

Aro: (grabs the mermaid by her shoulders and shakes her) since when did a mermaid live here?

The mermaid: (kanye shrugs) since I got dumped here by pirates looking for the fountain of youth.

Aro: (fangirl eyes) it's here?

The mermaid: it was here...but then Jack Sparrow broke it. See, you need to learn to watch the movies, dumbass.

Aro: (huffs) I'm not a dumbass. I'm special!

The mermaid: (raises a brow and sighs) have you ever watched Splash?

Aro: (nods like an eager child)

The mermaid: wanna have sex?

Aro: uurrrmm. (He collapses into the water.)

The mermaid: (prods him until he recovers)

Aro: (dazed) how does that work? They didn't do it in Splash. (On realising he's correct, Aro slaps the mermaid and laughs) oh yeah! Owned hookah! Sex with a mermaid doesn't happen unless they have a fish face and human legs.

The mermaid: (spits water at him) fine then. If you wont try...(she drifts back underwater and anchors herself to the bottom, glaring up.)

Aro: (pouts) oh, I do want to try-

The mermaid: (leaps back up and attaches her lips to Aro's)

Aro: (mentally) oh yeah I'm being a deviant now!

When the dawn comes, Aro rushes back into the castle and strides around, causing the members of the Volturi to look at him curiously.

Jane: (curtsies) you look happier today and I want to apologise for my sadistic, perverted actions.

Aro: (whistles) thank you Jane.

Caius: (grumbles) I'm not sorry for my role play but I am glad you would kill my wife to save me.

Athenodora: (rubs her neck and mutters) next time round, I'm dressing up as Buffy and staking you all.

Aro: (beams) thank you Caius.

Felix: (stammers) and I'm sorry for hugging a wall.

Renata: I apologise for tackle raping a cat.

Heidi: I'm sorry for making out with Sulpicia.

Sulpicia: I'm not sorry for making out with Heidi...I mean...I AM sorry.

Jane: so, why are you happier?

Aro: (kanye shrugs) I did it with a mermaid while she still had her tail. I know the secret of where her chamber of secrets lies, therefore I am the most warped and kinky bastard in this whole place. Thus, I'm happy. Owned! (He skips down the corridor singing "Champion" by Chris Brown.)

Caius: (shakes his head and barks) wifey! You dress up as Sailor Moon again. Sul, you dress as Ariel and Heidi you dress as Buffy cause girls, we are going cartoon crazed kinky! (Pulling out a fake moustache, he sticks it on his upper lip and drawls) itsa me. Mario!


	4. Episode 4: Carlisle's Virginity

_The sun is setting in the sky, Volturi-tubbies say bye bye..._

Marcus: (slumped on his throne, he closes a velvet red book) dear viewers, you are about to witness a flashback episode since nothing interesting is going on in the present. Unless you count tearing people's faces off as pure fun. Join me in my past, to the day when, Carlisle Cullen lost his virginity...

Harp music plays and Marcus fades away with his chair. Darkness fills the room for a second until it becomes illuminated with light from the overhead chandeliers. Marcus is now standing in the middle of the marbled throne room, wailing to himself.

Marcus: Didyme. I miss you!

Carlisle (awkwardly walks into the room out of concern) Marcus? Are you...crying?

Marcus: (nods) I miss my wife, new friend with golden hair and hamster features. I miss her smiling face, her touch, her...

Caius: (shouts from outside the room) her sex!

Marcus: (sniffs) get away from here you snow queen...

Caius: (cackles) I will. Back to my sexing. At least you aren't alone in your pained celibacy. Carlisle has never done the deed himself.

Carlisle: (bites his lip and looks away from Marcus) he's joking

Marcus: and I'm a Musketeer. (He waits until he hears Caius' walk away before grabbing Carlisle by the shoulders and exclaiming lowly) you are a virgin?

Carlisle: nay! I've had many a wench.

Aro: (calls out from outside the room lightly) lies. You're a good pastors boy. You never penetrated anything when you are alive and now you are dead, you still wont stick your Cumberland sausage anywhere interesting!

Marcus: (sniffs in irritation) get away from here you queen of the desert!

Aro: (laughs loudly) ha I will! Back to my beloved dungeon...

Carlisle: gah! I want a dungeon...(waits until he hears Aro's skipping footsteps fades before replying passionately) my secret shame. Yes! I'm a virgin. I crave a woman's touch. If you ask me, Aro's touch does nothing for me.

Marcus: it does something for me. (He catches Carlisle's look of repulsion and hastily explains) he reminds me of his sister. Of course Aro gives me little hard ons at my more lonely times.

Carlisle: (shakes his head) what I need is a woman. A decent wholesome woman to marry and have crazy sex with, rawr!

Marcus: you can have premarital sex now that you're technically already damned and doomed.

Carlisle: fair point. Ok then, I need a wild fuck with a random girl with big breasts and bigger brains!

Marcus: good luck! (Watches Carlisle sprint off and then slumps against a wall, wailing) while I stand here and jerk off at my poor dead wifeys memory...

After the break...will Carlisle finally get his end-in? Will Marcus let his hidden lust for Aro come to fruition? And will we ever catch a glimpse of the elusive couple Chelsea and Afton? Find out in 3, 2, 1.

Afton: (sits on the edge of the plaza fountain in the twilight, making out with Chelsea)

Chelsea: mmmm (breaks away) hey! We're finally getting some screentime.

Afton: pffft! In a flashback! We're the ignored members of the Volturi. (Blusters) we're too...normal for this place! We should leave!

Chelsea: (pouts) or we can make out some more and accept our fate as named extras?

Afton: agreed. Let's do passionate ye yonder kissing!

Carlisle races past the couple then doubletracks, returning to stand in front of them, staring.

Carlisle: ye gods! I'm going to become way more popular than those two will ever become so why can't I find someone to kissy face with?

Chelsea: (breaks away from Afton again, muttering) rub. It. In. You'll meet your soulmate sometime in the future and have a beautifully self-righteous heroic coven that could destroy ours in a heartbeat.

Carlisle: true...(sticks out his chest in pride) because I am such a hero. But I want hanky panky art thou loving RIGHT NOW.

Afton: yo man. Try one of the wives. They're pretty laidback.

Carlisle: Aro and Caius would kill me...

Chelsea: and Afton, you're forgetting Sulpicia is a sadistic mare and Athenodora is a baby brained brat. (Smiles warmly at Carlisle) try Heidi. She's pretty sane for a vampire.

Afton: hmhmmm, killer legs too. (Gets hit by Chelsea) ouch!

Chelsea: Carlisle you can try ME if this cretin doesn't stop drooling over Spidey Heidi.

Carlisle: (backs away slightly, afraid of Chelsea's intense anger) ahem, I'll try Heidi, thank you. But why is she called Spidey?

Afton: (smirks slightly) because she has a webbed c- (he is smacked by Chelsea again)

Chelsea: CRETIN! Thou art a villain!

Carlisle: ok, I'll find Heidi, bye! (He rushes away, holding his hands over his ears to drown out the sounds of Afton being knocked into the water)

Fountain Mermaid: vampire vampire mermaid threesome?

Afton: hell yeah!

Chelsea: no! (Shoves the mermaid's head underwater and whispers) Afton, we have to keep this a secret. If Aro knew there was a mermaid here, he would freak out!

Afton: (flails) agreed...

Carlisle reaches Heidi's chambers. He knocks enthusiastically and straightens out his cream waistcoat.

Heidi: (opens the door in a thin white chemise) ello?

Carlisle: (seizes her by the waist and barks) will you make me lose my virginity?

Heidi: (shrugs and smirks wickedly) well I'm game for anything. Haven't you heard?

Carlisle: actually Afton and Chelsea told me...(he breaks off and kisses her neck) nevermind that. To ecstasy! To heaven! (Pushing Heidi into her room, Carlisle turns around and locks the door with a triumphant grin.)

Back in the throne room, Marcus is still caressing himself through muted tears.

Marcus: Did-y-me!

Aro: (enters slowly, twitching nervously) Marcus I'm so sorry I killed your wife!

Marcus: whaaaaaat?

Aro: (shifty eyes and stammers) urm, joke my friend, joke. So I see you were, ahem, jerking off. Mind if I join you? Sul is withholding sex. Again.

The sounds of heavy panting and breathy moans can be heard.

Marcus: (drones grimly) so I see Carlisle is getting his wish. Hats off to him.

Aro: yeah, (sighs wistfully) the lucky devil.

Marcus: when you asked if you can join me, did you mean that you wanted to fondle me or that you wanted to fondle yourself in my company.

Aro: when you put it like that both sound really awful. (Cackles in glee) but I meant the second option. I'm not a gay man.

Marcus: really? (Tries to compose himself) but you're so much like Didyme!

Aro: (replies darkly) that's why I killed her.

Marcus: what?

Aro: I said that's why I KEEP her. In my heart. Forever. Now, urm, goodbye (he slips from the room with a light springing leap).

Marcus: (looks down in dejection)

The scene fades to black and slowly grows in brightness again. Present day Marcus is sitting on his throne again, this time closing the book.

Marcus: and now, viewers, that is the story of how Carlisle lost his virginity. Of course he is now happily married to the homely Esme, who would die if she knew her saintly husband had ravished Spidey Heidi, so please keep this knowledge secret. (Pauses and adds frantically) also please don't tell anyone about my secret unrequited lust for Aro! I'll kill you if you do tell. I will give you some fine velvet slippers if you don't tell! Plea-

The end! Tune in next time to see an actual present day episode.


End file.
